


what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

by msaudreyanne



Category: Anastasia (1997), Anastasia - Flaherty/Ahrens/McNally
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Quarantine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:00:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25538440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msaudreyanne/pseuds/msaudreyanne
Summary: angsty quarantine one-shot
Relationships: Dimitri | Dmitry/Anya | Anastasia Romanov (Anastasia 1997 & Broadway)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

They’ve never fought like this before.

Sure, both Dmitry and Anya love to rile each other up, and frequently, but their fights have never quite gotten to this level of viciousness.

Perhaps it’s the fact that they’ve been quarantined together for the last four months? The first two months had been bliss. It was actually rather fun getting to spend all of their time together. Previously, they’d both come and go as they pleased. Occasionally they’d go out with the same group of friends. Nights in were common, but they mostly kept to themselves.

They tried almost everything to keep each other sane during the first two months of quarantine. Every bearable show on Netflix and Hulu had been watched. Anya taught Dmitry how to make her top-secret chocolate chip cookie recipe, for which he swore he’d take the information to his grave. In return, Dmitry taught Anya every single card game he could think of. He’d have to keep his eye on her the next time they’d have poker night because she’d surely wipe him clean now.

During Month 3, things began to shift. They both grew very irritable with each other. Passive aggressive comments became a part of their daily routine. Dmitry would leave dishes in the sink. Anya would leave dirty clothes in the bathroom. Both knew the habits drove the other insane, but found they almost welcomed the possibility of a fight. Originally, they both chalked it up to spending too much time together with no buffers. It was only natural to get sick of a person, eventually.

_It also didn’t help that they were both secretly, stubbornly in love with each other, and refused to admit it..._

Now though, their words contained nothing but venom. Anya had never felt so frustrated and helpless at the same time. How could he be that oblivious to her? How could he not care? She gave so many signs.

Yet here they were, shouting at each other in the apartment. It’s a wonder that no one had complained about the noise yet. His words stung, which was clearly his intention. They were both trying to wound the other in ways only they knew how to.

For Dmitry, it meant throwing her family’s wealth in her face. Why didn’t she pack up and heed her mother’s warnings about the pandemic and lockdowns sweeping the country? Why didn’t she flee to the Hamptons for safety with the other wealthy elite? Why, for the love of God, did she think she needed to slum it with Dmitry? Did she feel that sorry for him? Being trapped in this dinky two-bedroom apartment they shared for the last year and a half didn’t make sense to him.

Anya was never one to back down from a fight. She was on the defensive and ready to strike at him with a moment’s notice if need be. Dmitry might know her surface-level weaknesses, but Anya had paid close attention to him, always. She knew exactly what would damage Dmitry the most. She could rail against him for his insecurities. Why did he feel the need to be alone throughout this all? Why was he determined to shut himself off from the world, constantly wanting to be a victim? Why wouldn’t he let someone in, for once in his life? Finally, she could bring up his ever-present resentment of her family – the fatal strike.

Instead, the anger and hopelessness of it all finally broke her. She opened her just-slammed bedroom door to scream at him. “For whatever it’s worth, I never planned on leaving you here alone, because I love you! Isn’t that the worst thing you ever heard?” And then she slammed the door shut again. She turned her back to both the door and Dmitry, and slid to the floor. No longer able to hide behind her rage, she finally succumbed to the sobs that had been threatening to spill out for a while.

Tears streamed down her face, whether from grief at the loss of any future with him – there was no coming back from this, she thought – or from relief that she was finally free. Her heart had been left out within the confines of the apartment, raw and vulnerable, waiting for Dmitry to reject it. She would need to figure out something, and soon, because the thought of staying here now was too painful to consider.

There was a gentle knock on her door and a soft “Anya….Please.” He sounded just as broken as she felt.

She wiped her face and stood up. She’d be damned if she let him gain the satisfaction of her tears. Anya took a deep breath and opened the door.

“What.” She had wanted to yell it at him. Anger was easier than whatever she felt now. Instead, the word came out as a whisper. She found herself drained of all fight. Her final confession had cost her so much.

Dmitry crowded her space, cautiously at first. He walked her back into the door and were she not so emotionally exhausted, her fight or flight reflex might’ve kicked in. Now though, she just waited for whatever words Dmitry would use to ruin her.

The words never came, though.

His left hand rested on her side, sending shivers throughout her. What exactly was this plan of attack? Was he going to fuck her about only to leave her in tatters when he got tired of trying?

Then his right hand came to cradle her face. He waited for Anya to meet his eyes. When she noticed his own were glassy with unshed tears, she was caught off guard. He must’ve seen the confusion written all over her face, for he paused briefly. It didn’t deter him completely, though, as he then leaned in and kissed her soundly.

Anya released a noise of surprise in the back of her throat. She felt his lips pull into his trademark grin against hers. Her wounded heart soared at the kiss. Here was what she had been wanting for ages. If only she’d told him sooner, perhaps they could’ve saved so much hurt.

The kiss grew more heated as Anya wrapped her hands around his neck, threading her fingers into his messy brown hair. He’d always shown his frustrations by running a hand through it – a habit Anya found so endearing about him – so it was in quite a state from their argument. It was no less soft to her touch, she thought. As she raked her nails gently against his scalp, Dmitry let out a satisfied groan.

He stooped down to pick her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and used the door as leverage to keep her right where they both needed her.

Breaking the kiss, he looked up at her through his eyelashes, grinning like the devil he was. “You love me?” He asked with such a heartbreaking softness. Anya couldn’t help but give a teary chuckle and a quick nod. She resealed their lips, not ready to talk just yet. They’d talked enough for now.

He pressed against her more fully, not an inch of space between them. She could feel his pulse beat rapidly from where her hand rested against his neck. She was sure he could feel her own heart attempting to beat out of her chest and into his hands. If she really thought about it - which she preferred not to right at this moment – her heart had been his for quite some time.

They broke apart again, this time because air proved to be a necessity. Dmitry’s forehead rested against hers, his warm breath fanning across her cheeks. He looked straight into her eyes and said the five words that both shattered and healed her entire world.

“I love you too, Anya.”

**Author's Note:**

> bonus points to whoever can find all the Taylor Swift lyrics *looks pointedly at ivyrobinson & piecesofgold*
> 
> Thank you for reading! Comment/Kudo if you'd like 💛💛


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